The Mom I am

The Mom I am

I do not want to be fearful mom who worries constantly burdening my child with my anxiety, but sometimes worry moves into my mind like rats in an attic.

I do not want to be angry mom but sometimes I yell and the anger is like lava overflowing my body, relentless.

I do not want to be the bored and distracted mom but sometimes my mind must escape the messes and tantrums, the repetition and clamor. Overwhelmed by tediousness and noise I leave my body like a prisoner escaping Alcatraz.

I do not want to be the unhealthy mom but sometimes I default to fish sticks and chicken nuggets, allowing toxins to infiltrate our house through candy bars and counter cleaner.

But even with all that I am a good mom.

I am the mom who is willing to face her flaws
eye to eye and interlinking hands.

I am the mom capable and eager to change, ever growing and ever flowing with lifes’ lessons.

I am the mom who knows when to apologize, when to ask for forgiveness, how to make restitution.

I am the mom who loves his father, who has loved his father for 12 years.

I am the mom committed to keeping her partnership close in mind, body and spirit.

I am the mom who sings and dances, meditates and chants.

I am the mom creating an open, loving heart, reading and dreaming.

I am the mom who chooses faith, hope, trust time and time again

I am the mom who tucks a tiny tired body in at night whispering of gratitude and gladness.

I am the mom he chose and I will make it count.

(c) Lesley Yadon January 2018

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